SchitStorm Rankings, November Corporate Edition

Every day the news is filled with corporate blunder so once a week we're going to attempt to summarize some of the biggest with our SchitStorm Corporate Rankings.  You don't want to find your company here, but somehow, most of them will survive.  Here's the first edition.
  1. Facebook, Google, Twitter – It’s amazing to us that these companies, with some of the smartest people on earth working there, couldn’t figure out that if you build a self-serve advertising bar, that there would be people that abused it. Any idiot with a credit card can promote anything they want to anyone they want from anywhere on earth, what could possibly go wrong.
  2. Under Armour – Sales are tanking and half the management team has left the building in recent days/weeks. Their long past the glory growth days and finally waking up to a market that is moving faster than they can keep up too.
  3. Uber – Although the major chaos created as Kalanick was forced out, but he’s still causing trouble and putting at risk the current investment from Softbank.
  4. GE – The new CEO continues to open closets only to find more and more skeletons. Can this behemoth of the industrial past find its footings and finally bring some returns for investors? He’s thrown out some of the top management and opened the blinds on some creative accounting practices, but there is still a long way to go to get this locomotive moving faster.
  5. Tesla – Making a mass market car turns out to be harder than Elon thought and they keep pushing their goals back by months.
  6. Sears – They can’t sell assets fast enough to save this dinosaur and the squeeze is on from suppliers. It won’t be a happy holiday in the Sear’s Tower, oh wait, they sold that already.
  7. Anheuser-Busch InBev – I guess nobody told they we all think their beer sucks before they bought out the big names in the American beer industry. Looks like their beer is mostly foam as sales continue to plunge in their core beer brands.
  8. Newell Brands – These guys own more consumer brands than just about anybody, especially after their recent acquisition of Jarden Corp with their Mr. Coffee and other household names, but managing that many divergent business units can’t be easy and they’ve missed their sales targets and saw the stock take a 25% dive as a result.

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